


in ten years time, you will come around

by clockworkmoon



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Job, Hand Job, M/M, Office Workers AU, Rimming, sousuke is a walking disaster when it comes to relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2141886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkmoon/pseuds/clockworkmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'You do realise the spectrum of human emotion is broader than hate, indifference and attraction, right?'  ' Of course I do.' but what Sousuke wouldn't say was that when it came to his relationships, these three emotions could describe 99% percent of his social interactions.<br/>or<br/>Sousuke is a jerk, Makoto is more amused about the whole situation than anything, and this is never a quick way to a man's heart by insulting his friends.<br/>Also, Rin cries.<br/>Office workers AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in ten years time, you will come around

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the beginning in my head and it was inspired by this fanart http://mstrmagnolia.tumblr.com/post/93678667386/guess-its-just-you-and-me-today and if not tumblr user seventypercentethanol's art, I'd probably never even noticed soumako existed and would only laugh at that pairing instead of writing a 20k fanfiction about them.  
> Also, all my knowledge about office workers comes from The Office.

It was a freaking Friday evening, Rin ditched him, and Sousuke and Tachibana were the only two left sitting at the office, long after the regular work hours finished. Tachibana was still editing some documents Nagisa threw at him before he fled the scene to fluster the hell out of Rei during a self-proclaimed date. “It’s a business dinner..” Ryuugazaki explained over and over in a very tired voice, bordering on hysteria, but no one believed him anyway.

Everyone was acting frantic as today was a deadline for a very important project, their team worked hard, they hit the target, but obviously most of them forgot to proofread their reports which was 40% of success to a perfect project. But not a single employee seemed to care, everyone was content enough knowing they reached the goal, so right at 6.30 PM everyone escaped through the doors like a perfect, horribly unfocused organism.

Sousuke had to admit, he was tired of working here.

It’s been almost a month since the merger. Rin was overjoyed, because he got to work with friends that he used to be very close to in high school, and then for some time at University, that is until he got a scholarship from one of the most prestigious business schools in USA, where he went and lost contact with both the group of friends, and Sousuke too, at some point.

Sousuke knew everything about these guys, maybe with the exception for Ryuugazaki, whom Rin didn’t know before his departure for the States .But he knew all about Rin’s friendship/rivalry/crush on Nanase, knew all about Nagisa’s bubbly and sparkling presence and his love for sweets, everything about kind Makoto who was super easy to scare if you turned off the lights and pretended to be even the lamest kind of a monster. And it was funny to Sousuke that he had an absolutely different opinion about them than what was presented by Rin.

What Rin didn’t tell him but what he had learnt himself only during the first week of working with the new team, was that Rin was so hopelessly infatuated with Nanase, though he would deny it every time Sousuke tried to talk about it. He also forgot to mention how disturbingly annoying Nanase’s lack of motivation was, especially combined with his freakingly effortless talent. He couldn’t believe Rin could be so invested in someone who not only was so unmotivated, but also who didn’t seem to care about Rin at all.

He also didn’t mention how unnerving Tachibana’s never ceasing calm kindness was.

There was something about expression on Tachibana’s face that edged on melancholy, especially when he looked at Nanase with these warm eyes. Sousuke often observed Rin, Nanase and Tachibana interact, and wondered if Tachibana had realised Rin’s crush on his best friend, it was too obvious not to; maybe he was sad over deciding he’d give space to Rin to court Nanase? It must’ve been killing him, probably, not that Sousuke cared. Relationships shouldn’t occur at work, so as long as no one is dating anyone and causing havoc and weird atmosphere, it’s okay, he doesn’t need to worry about it.

But, the thing is, he did worry, a bit. He felt unreasonably more angry at Nanase for making everyone fall in love with him. What the hell did they even see in that dead eyed guy? With every day it was harder and harder to keep up appearances and not snap at Nanase over some stupid, unimportant detail.

Sousuke wasn’t maybe the most sociable person, or exactly the kindest- he had his moments from time to time, though. Or he liked to think that. But not being a social butterfly didn’t mean he didn’t care for his best friend’s mental health. Or  for Tachibana’s, for some reason, which baffled and amazed Sousuke, cause Tachibana wasn’t even his friend, and usually Sousuke didn’t care for anyone who wasn’t his best of bestest friends. And still, there he was, somewhere in the back of Sousuke’s mind.

 

It was so damn hard when his best friend was such an idiot. Rin, the hopeless romantic, wouldn’t listen to him, because when it came to Nanase, he disregarded everything else. Hell, he got Sousuke involved in this freaking merger, and nearly sank his whole career. Sousuke was safe- he got already confirmed a junior partner in one of the two business giants on this side of the Ocean, and he sure as hell said yes when offered. The problem was, Rin, instead of hopping on when he had the opportunity, had to choose to try to bond and rebuild his old friendships, because the memories and old choices didn’t let him sleep at night, apparently. What a bunch of bullshit. Sousuke will never understand that decision, he tried but couldn’t wrap his mind around the whole idea of disregarding one’s ten years worth of hard work to achieve a dream, and when the chance arose, to just throw it away in the name of wooing some guy? But being the amazing friend he was, he agreed on transferring with Rin when a merger was in talks, and was appointed to help Rin’s friends adjusting to the new system. And so, Rin could bond all he wanted( though Sousuke was sure that bang Nanase was more appropriate phrase) and with Sousuke’s guiding hand, he could prove himself worthy to the scouts Sousuke promptly asked to set onto their branch.

He liked to think it may be his contribution when in twenty years Rin will become senior partner with him, but truth be told Rin was amazing on his own, and didn’t need any meddling on top, but more of a push from the bottom, because honest to God, if Rin suddenly decided to decline the offer seniors at the company gave him, all over his stupid crush on stupid Nanase, Sousuke is going to murder someone. Probably starting with Nanase.

Well, in all fairness Rin actually already accepted the job, he just asked for that year to prove himself since he had less practice than Sousuke, who had started working during his first year at university, when Rin had struggled a bit over language barrier at first and had to repeat the year.

And that’s how Sousuke ended up in this God forgotten branch, proofreading Rin’s hastily written reports, in a room too small for his liking, with people who were competent but horribly annoying(especially interns who came by every few days to learn- older one, Nitori, wasn’t that bad, but the bug-catching lover was insufferable at best, unfortunately he was brilliant, too), in one word, a workplace he always tried to avoid. It wasn’t that bad, but it surely wasn’t a skyscraper in Tokyo or New York, either. And Sousuke aimed for the latter.

 

So, he wasn’t here to make friends. He just wanted that year to be finished,so he and Rin could go on, become the junior partners, and preferably rule the world. It wasn’t that much to ask for.

That’s why he wasn’t trying to make connections here, or bond with Rin’s pack. He wasn’t too nice to them, but not hostile, either. He was simply an outsider, he knew it, he felt it, but it didn’t bother him at all. Any signs of their attempts at connecting with him, all their kindness offered were encountered with his indifferent stares. He didn't care for relationships. They only brought doom upon parts involved, see exhibit a: his friendship with Rin that made him end up in a shithole for a year. How he hated small towns.

He wasn’t here to make friends, that’s what he repeated in his head over and over, so he was surprised himself when he heard his own voice asking Tachibana:

“How was your day?”

His head shot up and he looked at Sousuke with a startled expression, but quickly laughed after a moment.

“Sorry, I was so absorbed with this document, it was so silent, I thought you left already and I’m here on my own. This scared me a bit.” he smiled at Sousuke with that awful expression of his, as if he were saying But I’m glad you are here and I hope your whole life is a string of happiness, and Sousuke felt sick a bit, so he turned his back at Tachibana instead of staring at him in disbelief, because he was also fairly sure that Makoto was so startled only because Sousuke talked to him about something that wasn’t business, and Sousuke never did that.

Tachibana looked at him expectantly and the silence between them stretched into something less comfortable, because sure, Sousuke knew that he was the one to start conversation, but now he felt it was a very bad idea, and tried to cut the conversation short by his rude behaviour, but Makoto didn't give up, probably thinking it was Sousuke’s plea for help, that he suddenly talked to him, after a month of nothing but strictly work related exchanges.

“Ah, you asked me about my day, right? It was nice, but could’ve been better if Nagisa didn’t put all of his paperwork on me that are due in a few hours.” he rubbed his face, trying to hide a yawn. “Yours?”

Sousuke wasn’t surprised at all that Tachibana was still in this God forgotten place.You don’t succeed and climb up the hierarchy wearing your heart on the sleeve. If anyone asks you about your day, you never say truth, doesn’t matter how hard the day was and how much you want to complain or share. You say “Fine”, because they need to know you are a tough son of a bitch and nothing will break you. He felt Tachibana still watching him, so he shifted to look back at him.

“Fine.” he said slowly, and then, against all of his rules, he added: “Could’ve been better if Rin wasn’t such a little shit with the attention span of a growing up, love struck teenage boy, though.” he spitted before he could bite his tongue.  Christ. Not only he let his guard down, used informal language in front of an employee he’s supposed to guide and train, but also almost ratted Rin out on his crush. In one sentence. The one time he decided to be social out of the blue, serves him right.

“Oh.” Makoto sipped on his probably already cold coffee. “Yeah, he does seem somehow distant in this state.”

Something didn't add up, and Sousuke turned back fully to gape at Tachibana.

“Wait, you knew?”

“I’ve known him for almost a decade, Yamazaki-kun. I had to notice at some point. Not that he’s very subtle about it, either.” Tachibana said, and there was something off about his expression, maybe he was sad that his best friend is being courted under his nose? Again, what all of them even see in Nanase? This infatuation business is irritating. Sousuke wished he could feel condescending, or patronizing, but all he felt at the moment was anger. And anger didn’t fit with his thoughts about Tachibana suffering from his love for Nanase. He had nothing to be angry about.

Sousuke scowled..

“True.” he summed up and cut the conversation, annoyed. Tachibana seemed to take notice, but didn’t say anything more, he just tilted his head in confusion a bit, and went back to work.

Sousuke would be more than happy to explain why he acted like that, but he didn’t know himself and he felt really stupid for some reason.

 

For the next several weeks, it became their little routine. They often stayed late together to finish proofreading and check their co-workers’ results. Tachibana was the head of the department and Sousuke was  the head of the merger project, so the final responsibility laid on them. but even if it wasn’t the case, he was pretty sure Makoto would be staying overtime anyway, for Nagisa’s sake- he was  too kind and wouldn’t stand Hazuki’s suspension, and that was bound to happen. Kid was brilliant, very talented at bringing new agents to their place, at luring customers in, but his report writing skills sucked. It seems you can’t be both a talented at interpersonal exchange and being charming and writing readable, proper reports. Well, unless you were Tachibana. All of his many clients, mostly small business owners, loved and worshipped him, and he was amazingly gifted when it came to scrupulous analysis and business summaries. He wasn't very good with corporation representatives, though, but that’s why Sousuke was here, to show him the way and bring enlightenment- one of the reasons behind their transfer here was to teach the team some tricks and motivate them to try to catch the bigger fish such as corporation customers, too.

 

It was very late, well after 10PM, when Sousuke felt he was falling asleep any second, so he cleared his throat to start a conversation. It was barely heard through the rain hitting the window, but Tachibana still jumped a bit. He did it all the time when Sousuke spoke up after long periods of time when they were working after work hours, but they talked more often, and even held some longer conversations. Sousuke felt drawn more and more by Tachibana’s warm personality, and he absolutely loathed it, because he didn’t need that. But it was nice to talk to someone else than Rin, and his mother, from time to time, he guessed.

“You know we are here to guide you, right? I could help you with some tricks how to unravel business sharks. The minds in corporations are single-tracked, you just need a few magic tricks and anything is possible.” he leaned back in his chair, stretching a bit. He felt so sore after sitting in the same position for past few hours. “It’s not that hard. If not now, let me know, we can meet sometime on weekend. I should hold special obligatory training hours on weekend for these lazy asses, too, by the way.” He said it into the air, not looking at Tachibana, but he knew the man realised it was addressed to him, since they were the only two left, again.

“I’m sure they will be thrilled” Makoto smiled and Sousuke found himself at loss, because this smile did something to him, but apart from that he didn’t know if Makoto was teasing him, or people here really wanted to learn something new. “As for your offer… thank you, but I just prefer to take care of smaller businesses. Everyone is crazy about corporation clients, but they treat smaller businesses as a nuisance. My grandad was a small business owner and he had a very hard time because no one ever treated him seriously, just because he was selling fish in a small fish shop, and not doing some huge turnovers. No one really cares about outfits. You can say this is my mission in this work line.” he laughed, and turned to take a better look at Sousuke. “It’s not like our company is going to go out of business if I dedicate myself to helping out smaller companies instead of chasing big corporations.”

“Yeah, but if you don’t bring in bigger clients, you can go out of business in this line of work.” Sousuke said, and that was true. However noble Tachibana’s stand wouldn’t be, it was still just fighting windmills. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but when the cuts come, he will be the first to go if he doesn’t focus.

Tachibana adjusted something on his desk and then called him over with a wave.

“Take a look at that. These are my results from the last year, and these are Nagisa’s, to compare. You know he’s amazing at bringing in big clients.” Sousuke leaned over broad form of Tachibana’s back to cast a glance at the bright screen of his computer and he gaped, then mouthed a silent curse. He looked down at the top of Tachibana’s head, and saw hair moving under the movement of air when he spoke.

“Holy shit. This is seriously just your work?” Sousuke was incredibly impressed. These numbers were impressive. Makoto turned a bit and looked up at him, small smile on his face, something that could be called a smirk if it wasn’t Tachibana Sousuke was talking about. Green stare pierced holes in his chest when he was so close he could see each of the eyelashes guarding green pupils.

“Are you impressed, Yamazaki-kun? Told you my results aren’t that bad.” Sousuke swore Tachibana was teasing him this time, or he was going mental.

“They aren’t, but would be more impressive if you could bring some corporations to co-operate, too.” Sousuke sat back in his chair and sweated a bit. Way to go. He had some years when he brought in corporation guys and still didn’t get that amazingly high numbers as he just saw Makoto proved to achieve with outfits. Nonetheless, Sousuke didn’t correct his rather rude comment, and kept on checking Nanase’s latest report, trying to find any mistakes. Truth is, he finished with his work for today over two hours ago, but he decided to try to bring Nanase down at all costs, especially that he spotted a pile of his paperwork left unattended on his desk. So far, no luck. It caught him off guard when he heard Tachibana speak up.

“More impressive? Would your mouth open wider because of me, then?” he laughed good-heartedly, his face open, without any menace or innuendo intended, just referring to his hardly hidden jaw drop, Sousuke is sure, but he still thanks the dim light in the office, because he could tell his face is reddened.

“Maybe. You can always try to make me.” he squeezed out at least, and he sure as hell didn’t know if his response was to the more innocent or the one not that innocent implication of Makoto’s words, and he hated himself for it.

Something shifted in the atmosphere at some point after this, and they bid their farewells in a hurry.

 

Sousuke realised he’s got it bad when he stayed after hours with no official work to do. Rin finished all his reports, everything went smoothly during the day, he couldn’t even find any of Nanase’s reports to check them for the mistakes he knew weren’t there. He was unable to find any lame excuse that could sound remotely probable so he could stay with Makoto, who was surely working overtime, as everyday.

So around the time everyone started shuffling their stuff and saying goodbyes, he lingered around his desk, pretending he didn’t hear Rin asking him whether he was going home, barely heard Rin reminding him they were going for drinks on Friday, nearly knocked down Nagisa when he hurried to the kitchen to hide and pretend to clean his tea mug, and just frantically tried to come up with anything that’d let him stay in the office for a longer time. The awful truth was Sousuke not only came to accept and like Makoto’s presence, but he started to expect and look for their quiet, alone time in the empty space of the ugly workplace.

Also, he started calling Tachibana Makoto. Well, he started referring to him by his first name in his head only, because in actual, verbal conversation, he still called him by the family name. Sue him.

Finally, instead of giving up when the situation called for it( because true winners know when they need to step back or give up), when he had heard Makoto’s surprised “Do you still have some work to do?” Sousuke acted on impulse.

“Electricity leaked. I mean, it went out. In the morning, out for 24 hours. Whole place is very cold and dark, I won’t be able to cook,  and I also needed to check something on the Internet. Some important research that can’t wait.”

Makoto smiled and nodded, going back to work, and Sousuke cringed at all the holes in his story. Rin literally ten minutes ago asked him if they were still up to that xbox game, and that it was Sousuke’s turn to cook on their gas oven, and also, what important research can he conduct for over two hours? He’s not writing a MA again, for fuck’s sake.

But he bravely pretended to read some business news he already read in the morning, he surfed on the Internet and prayed to God Makoto wouldn’t turn and see him scrolling through 9GAG for the last half an hour. Then, when a soft sound of Makoto gathering his belongings reached Sousuke’s ears, he conveniently finished his very important, over three hours long research of old news items and cat memes, just in time to leave with Makoto.

He wanted to say something, but when he looked at Makoto’s face, he was at a loss what to say, and he felt his knees weaken under that half smile that’s always present on Makoto’s face. Yamazaki, get a grip.

He wasn’t given a chance to be a braver man, as Makoto spoke up first.

“So, if your electricity is out, do you want to grab some take-out? I know a place not that far away, it should be still open, they have amazing noodles, and it’s in the direction of the station.” and Sousuke was nodding and agreeing and Makoto’s smile widened and he’s sold, he didn’t even notice when he ended up ordering something for himself and Makoto, paying for both, sitting next to Makoto and praising the food, he wasn’t even hungry, goddamn it, he just ate a bowl of noodles he didnt even want just to enjoy Makoto’s company, and he was enjoying it so much, it made him sick a bit.

He tried everything- denying, analysing, negotiating, explaining, rationalising; all in vain.

Something in him is broken, a screw loose. He’s in deep shit.

He found himself walking Makoto down to the station(Iwami line, goes every 15 minutes until midnight. It creeps him out that he devours all the smallest information about Tachibana as if he was a starving man.) He even waited with Makoto for his train.

“That’s very nice of you, thank you, Yamazaki-kun. I forgot my book with me today, but that way the await wasn’t dreadful at all.” Sousuke wondered what did it even mean, he said maybe one word during last 15 minutes. Not very entertaining. “The journey on train itself isn’t that boring, usually people who go my way are always doing some weird stuff and it’s funny.” Makoto’s eyes glimmered in the station lamp light and Sousuke had to use all of his self-restraint not to offer to accompany Makoto on the train.

He wondered where all of this even came from, as he waved at Makoto stepping inside the cart.

He’s fucked.

++

From then on, they started these tiny habits; they often met by Makoto’s station, walked to a local coffee shop on colder mornings, went for take-out twice a week. Sousuke tried not to ponder too much over the fact that he had to wake up an hour earlier to get his car parked somewhere between station and work, so he could easily walk to the station to pick Makoto up(he forgot to mention to Makoto he never takes trains. Or maybe he had hidden that fact for a reason, just to have Makoto propose to meet by the station entrance every morning, just to spend more time with him.) Or a fact that he hates the smell of coffee but loves the dreamy look on Makoto’s face when he takes his first sips of heavily chocolate mocha. Or a fact that he doesn’t even like take-outs, and rather cooked for himself.

Anyway, they were three weeks into this routine when Rin finally cornered him at their shared apartment to confront him about Sousuke’s behaviour.

“Of course, it’s none of my business, but you know, as your best friend, you could tell me what is the reason that I talk to you more often at work than at home. And that’s an achievement, considering you barely speak in front of the work team.”

Sousuke tried not to look him in the eye.

“What? Oh my god, did you got yourself a girlfriend?” he felt a slight punch on the arm, and could tell without looking Rin was grinning madly at him. “Or did you finally succumb and decided to become a serial killer as everyone expected of you in middle school?”

Sousuke didn’t like to think about his middle school, especially that he had to go with most of these kids to high school, and Rin abandoned him. He wasn’t abused by them, kids were too scared to approach him, but he was always tall, never liked to smile or talk too much, so classmates came up with all sorts of crazy stories. He didn’t really care, but it was always easier to cope with Rin by his side. And then Rin decided he needed to pursue his love in another high school. Damn Nanase.

“No.” Sousuke rolled his eyes and stretched a bit. “I’m seeing Makoto.”

Rin’s smile ceased.

“What? As in dating?”

Sousuke flinched a bit at the disbelief and a bit of horror in Rin’s voice.

“Um, yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe?” Sousuke tried different approaches depending on how Rin’s expressions changed with each option. “We haven’t really discussed that yet. Please don’t tell him.”

Rin frowned at him.

“Why do you sound so put off? I’m not good enough, or what?” Sousuke gave him a small smile, since he believed that as Rin’s best friend he would have now all the help and blessings from him to date his another good friend.

But Rin’s face didn’t become softer, he didn’t laugh or congratulate Sousuke on his new great idea.

“Do whatever you want, but I’m not on board with you on that..” he simply said and retreated to his room, leaving Sousuke boiling with anger, because here he was, absolutely shattered to pieces by some stupid feeling he didn’t want to grow but couldn’t resist, didn’t want to resist, either, and Rin, of all people, tells him not to go for it? Wasn’t that whole game of love so splendid and eye-opening and a cause some people(RIN), couldn’t sleep at night over some old crushes? And now, when it’s happening to Sousuke, that’s something wrong and he can’t act upon it?

As if.

 

++

 

Not that Sousuke expected that of Rin, but he did feel relieved when he came into the office on Monday and no one was talking about his feelings for Tachibana Makoto. But whenever Sousuke did as much as glance or mention Makoto, Rin would roll his eyes. He didn’t say anything, didn’t prevent anything, but Sousuke felt Rin didn’t approve, and as much as he’d like not to bother or care, he did. And it was becoming more and more annoying. He didn’t want to think that Rin was irritating, he was his best friend for crying out loud, but he couldn’t help but to dislike his behaviour.

Especially that it was Rin who left Sousuke twice already, who cut the contact even though they both realised Sousuke knew Rin like no one else. And now it was happening again. Even though it was Rin and Sousuke that together had a bright future in front of them, going to make their dreams come true, Sousuke felt like he was losing to Nanase. And Rin wasn’t helping. He knew damn well how Sousuke hated Nanase, how he hated his influence on Rin, and it didn’t stop Rin from hanging out with Nanase all the time(alright, maybe not all the time. After all, it was Sousuke who shared an apartment with Rin, they saw each other every evening, ate together and played video games together and went to jog together, but Sousuke knew Rin wasn’t as invested in their friendship as he used to be, and it was all Nanase’s fault.). So how on earth Rin could dare to reproach him?

It was becoming unbearable. Not that Sousuke was a kind of person to wear their heart on the sleeve, but since his problem was Rin, he couldn’t really discuss that with Rin. His mother was abroad, so he couldn’t reach her, either; thus, only one option remained.

During one of their take-out “dates”, Sousuke decided to talk to Makoto. Well, to be honest, he decided to not to talk to Makoto, but since he was sulking so much and barely ate anything, Makoto prompted him to talk. He didn’t tell Makoto anything about what he exactly told Rin, about them maybe-yes-no dating, obviously, but he spilt the beans as much as he could in this situation..

“ I don’t know what’s his problem. He’s so unreasonably angry at me for spending time with you.”

Makoto looked at him over a mug of hot soup he was sipping at. His hands looked so large in comparison to the tiny cup, and Sousuke wondered how would they fit, gripping on his arms.

“Doesn’t really sound like Rin. I thought he wanted you to befriend us? He told me he hoped we’d get all along.”

Sousuke shrugged.

“I don’t know. I thought I knew him well, but- he’s more upset over me da-,um, hanging out with you specifically.” Sousuke swallowed hard. He almost freudian slipped himself in front of Makoto.

“But what gives it away? Did he tell you Don’t meet with Makoto, he’s bad influence? “ Makoto laughed gently, wiping away oily soup from the corners of his mouth. Sousuke horribly wanted to just jump him and lick it clean.

“Well, no, but he kicks me everytime I as much as mention you. It’s like he’s jealous, but I don’t know of what or whom.”

“Maybe he’s afraid you will stop being friends with him? But I can’t imagine that. He’s not jealous over my bond with Haru, and you know, people used to say we were like an organism in a perfect symbiosis.” Makoto chuckled into his cup, his eyes doing that horrible “glimmering dreamily” thing again. “ Haven’t you thought that maybe you’re reading too much into it?” he paused, then added with a hint of suspicion. “And I didn’t notice him kicking you at all.”

“ Um. Ok. And no, I’m not. He’s just being unreasonable and has an unjustified dislike for my decision to become closer colleagues with you.”

Makoto looked him in the eye for a longer moment before saying slowly and softly, but sternly:

“So, just like your attitude towards Haru?”

Sousuke froze for a few terrible seconds and thought panicky what to do. For once during this weird relationship with Makoto, he chose to tell the truth. He felt disgusted with himself for lying to Makoto all the time, for feeding him false facts about his likes and dislikes, but deep within he realised that if shown his true face, he wouldn’t stand a chance with Makoto.

So he said:

“It’s different.”

“I’m surprised. I was confident you’d try to negate it” He’s got Makoto’s full attention on himself now, and these eyes focused on him seemed slightly sharper than usual. “ But how's that different?’

'Well, you're way nicer than Nanase, for starters? And  I don't think you're ever going to bring me down as much as he does with Rin.' Makoto frowned, but Sousuke knew  Makoto needed to learn the truth. Making him uncomfortable wasn't included in Sousuke's plan, but what to do. If he must, he must.

'I disagree. Have you ever talked to Rin before he met Haru? I know you knew him from before, but he changed only for the better. I can't see a single reason he anything but gained from this friendship.'

Sousuke huffs.

'Agree to disagree.'

Makoto didn’t let go, though. He was usually not the one to argue, especially when a hint like that was given, but Sousuke suspected when it came to defending his friends, he could be persistent.

'No, but think about it- this is exactly the same. However silly Rin's behaviour doesn't seem, I'm pretty sure he has his own reasons to behave that way. He's just trying to protect you, or me, I don't know. We know it's ridiculous, but to him it makes perfect sense. We know we are not some bad influence on each other.' Makoto smiles, eyes casted down on his hands. ' I rather enjoy spending time with you, especially now that you started to talk more. I started to believe I'm bound to spend my life having one-sided conversations.' his smile grows wider, clearly the memories of these 'one sided conversations' with Haru were nothing but fond. 'But, really. Just think about it- your reasons might be good in your opinion, but when applied to someone else, they don't make sense. Everyone goes by differents standards and ideas. To you Rin is being ruined by Haru, and to me it's the exact opposite. Rin thinks our meetings are apparently dangerous, and as much as I think this is not true- unless you are trying to get closer to Haru through me, learn his apartment code and murder him in his sleep-' the look that was casted Sousuke's way was way too serious for that sentence. 'at the end of the day, whatever your opinion on someone else's relationships wouldn't be, you can't decide for them. They do what they want, and you can only watch.' he looked at Sousuke gravely. ' You need to learn how to let go, Sousuke-kun.'

Sousuke wanted to smile, because it was the first time Makoto called him by his name. He turned his head instead to stare out of the window, deciding not to address anything what was said.

' But it doesn't mean you should stop caring. I know myself I'd love to play Haru's extension, translator and whatever you'll have. But I respect him and our friendship too much to do that. I know that if the time comes when he needs me, he will let me know. And until that happens, I can't just meddle." he felt Makoto's hand gently touching his arm, and it burnt his skin, even if heavy layers of clothing came between the touch.' It won't do either of you any good if you try to force him to do anything your way.'

Sousuke's lips formed a thin line, and he kept on looking out of the window, not saying anything. His scowl deepened,  and Makoto moved his hand away, and it suddenly started to feel really cold.

 

++

 

He didn't know and he certainly couldn't wrap his mind around the fact why on Earth he had asked Makoto that question. The first response was Makoto's confused expression followed by quiet laughter.

'What gave you that idea?' Makoto wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. Sousuke frowned at him. 'I mean, of course I love Haru. We were around each other since we were kids, you can't stick with someone so closely for over two decades without loving them. But no, I don't love him in the way you probably meant.'

Sousuke gave him a puzzled look.

'What, there are more kinds of love?' at that, Makoto had leaned  back in his chair, laughing again, and then he looked at still confused Sousuke to apologise.

'Sorry, I didn't know you were being serious.' Makoto tilted his head lightly, searching for something on the floor, then looked back at Sousuke. 'You do realise the spectrum of human emotion is broader than hate, indifference and attraction, right?'

Sousuke frowned and looked through the window, shoving hands in the pockets of his heavy coat. It was getting really cold in the evenings, on the verge of freezing, and their usual noodle place, with great food for cheap prices, didn't really care for providing proper room temperature, especially if that meant spending more money on the heating.

He didn't allow himself to think that this gesture was in any way a defensive pose. Just blame it on the cutting cold air.

Finally, he said ' Of course I do.' but what he wouldn't say was that when it came to his relationships, these three emotions could describe 99% percent of his social interactions, Rin and his mother were exceptions, of course. He liked Rin, and he loved his mother, but not in a way that could be described as 'sexual love’, obviously. And maybe there was whatever he was feeling for Makoto, but this could definitely be grouped under the 'wouldn't mind getting naked and having mind-blowing sex with' label.  

But he was certain Makoto had chosen these particular emotions because he fully realised that was more or less what Sousuke's emotional life looked like.

' It's just... what you have with Nanase, it was so obvious to me? That you are in love with him, as apparently every other person on planet, for reasons to me unknown-'

'Haru is an amazing person, Yamazaki-kun.' Makoto said firmly. The smile was still present on his face, but Sousuke could feel something colder in his voice.

'I can't see it, sorry. Sorry to jump into conclusions, but you were so absent-minded lately, I thought it was surely because you realised Rin's plans to snatch Nanase away.'

Makoto looked really surprised at that statement.

'I wouldn't think you'd notice such a thing.'

Sousuke snorted at that probably unintended jab. He wasn't dense, for one, and besides he liked himself to think he got to know Makoto pretty well these past few weeks.

'Well, it's not as if you are one to hide emotions.'

Makoto's gaze lingered on his hands, locked on the table next to their empty bowls.

'I suppose you are right.'

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, before Makoto decided to break it it, his voice quieter.

' But you are somehow right. It is about Haru. I know you don't want to hear about it, though. Since he's not your favorite person in the world and all.'

Sousuke lifted his lips in an unpleasant smile.

'So he isn't. But you are not half bad, so you know, Tachibana. You can always pour your heart out to me, I will even consider lending you my shoulder to cry on.' Sousuke leaned back a bit. This, this he was familiar with. Sarcasm, roughly showed kindness. He hoped it wasn't too rough for Makoto's liking. Makoto huffed a small laugh before reaching for his cup of probably lukewarm black tea(three cubes of sugar).  

' Thank you for that kind offer, but I already talked about it with someone who cares. We can go back to our small talk, no feelings stuff needs to be discussed.' Maybe Makoto saw a subtle change in Sousuke's face, because as soon as he finished that sentence, he took on an apologetic look on his face and seemed quite distressed. No, but ouch. Sure, they didn't ponder over marvels of universe together nor they discussed any abstract notions of love and power of friendship, but small talk was a bit too cruel word to describe their interactions. Sousuke didn't do small talk if it wasn't for business, thank you very much. That’s why Makoto hurriedly added

‘ But, thank you anyway. Didn't know you noticed anything. This says something when such a grand businessman as yourself cares to notice and address some mood changes in such a guy as myself.' he offered in reconciliation with a wider smile.

'I'm never saying anything like that again.' Sousuke muttered under a breath, and he half-seriously meant it.

 

++

 

Before he had noticed, weeks turned into months, and he was already closer to moving to Tokyo than not. Their meetings with Makoto continued, if not became even more frequent. Usually they spent time alone, but sometimes Hazuki and Ryuugazaki started to tag along and wreak havoc. Even Rin warmed up to the whole concept of them dating( although, they still weren't dating. Officially. To Sousuke- they were, but they still hadn't discussed that with Makoto, so.) and hang out with them from time to time. Nanase was the only one who didn't meet with two of them out of the work space, but obviously Sousuke wasn't broken-hearted over it.

So, he really wanted to find and hold someone responsible for his current situation- somehow he found himself in a pub with all the coworkers babbling happily and sharing some beers. Apparently it was Rin's idea, and Rin was paying for the drinks, as well. However cool the evening full of free drinks wouldn't seem, truth was Sousuke ended up squeezed between Hazuki and Ryuugazaki, and he almost wished he could sit next to Nanase, who at least didn't try to sit on him to get to talk to Rei, didn't spill his first drink on Sousuke, and didn't shout into his ear every three seconds. Sousuke, as a very conformist, logical guy, offered his seat to Hazuki, so the youngest guy wouldn't have to cause so much commotion in order to communicate with Ryuugazaki, but the idea was rejected on grounds of Hazuki’s prediction that Sousuke would feel super lost and out of the party. Which was everything Sousuke wanted.

His only route of escape were drinks. He gulped down two beers in some inhuman speed, and halfway through his third beer(and, okay, after a round of shots Nagisa brought), even his uncomfortable position at the table stopped being that irritating.

What annoyed him to no end, though, was the fact that Tachibana was so fucking away. He was currently talking with Nanase, heads close, while Rin with the other two engaged in a very lively, shouting contest they referred to as a conversation. Sousuke felt something tie in his stomach at how detached from the rest of the party the pair in front of him seemed. Even though he mostly wanted to just eat every corner of Makoto's body up, and never thought about getting even close to being as in sync with Makoto as they were with Nanase, but it still pained him.

He gave in to the idea of another drink. He didn't want to join in the shouting to ask Rin for a free beer, so he went to queue at the bar.

When Makoto appeared next to him as he was ordering, he was more than surprised. But maybe he shouldn't be.

'Having fun?' Makoto offered with a small smile, leaning closely to Sousuke to make sure his sentence was heard. Of course he'd go after Sousuke to check on him. Of course he did. There was no one else as considerate in this world as Makoto Tachibana.

' Can't you see I'm having a blast?' Sousuke replied, but he couldn't help but grin a bit at Makoto. Maybe it was the drink, maybe he was just pleasantly buzzed from the feeling of the knot in his stomach loosening at Makoto taking notice of his disappearance, of following him to the bar instead of staying to continue to talk to Nanase. Sousuke couldn't say his evening was ruined, for sure.

'But you know, I’ve had worse evenings. One time I went for a business trip with these old geezers. Not only they got drunk super quickly, they spent in one evening more money than I earned in a year at that time, they dragged me to all the weird burlesque clubs where I've seen terrible things, they ended up crashing at my place out of all the places they could choose(which get me evicted, mind you), I had to drive them everywhere, apologise for them, I was too stressed to actually drink one sip of anything, they puked in my car, on my bed, on me, on my landlord's cat, and then on my landlord(you can imagine why I got evicted?) and you know what was the best?'

'What?' Makoto somehow managed to ask in between the waves of laughter.

'I didn't get to sign the fucking deal.'

Makoto had to lean on Sousuke a bit as he half-bent, his laughter changing into silence and violent shakes of his shoulders.After he caught his breath, he said with a very serious, for a tipsy man, expression:

'Well, I think it explains a lot about your character, Yamazaki-kun. Such a disappointment at such a young age. No wonder you hate fun.'

Sousuke nudged him a bit, breaking into a wider grin.

' I don't hate fun. Maybe we have different understanding of what fun is.'

' I'm truly curious of what your understanding of it is, then.'

Sousuke's eyes slid onto Makoto's lips, as he sipped on a straw. What sort of businessman drinks colorful cocktails? But then, Makoto wet his lips with a tip of his tongue, chasing lost drops of alcohol from the surface, and Sousuke felt he as if was losing his mind.

He shifted closer, then leaned over Makoto, pressing him slightly to the bar top as he ordered them another round of drinks. More than saw, he rather felt his fluster as Makoto shifted a bit awkwardly at the feeling of them so close together, of the firm pressure on his body. As Sousuke leant back, Makoto started breathing again, only to get flustered even more when Sousuke said directly to his ear, putting a new drink in his hand:

' If we wait till the end of the party, I can show you what I mean by fun.' with that, Sousuke bounced back to get back to their respective personal spaces. He couldn't see much, but he could tell Makoto had to be sporting mad blush. Or, preferably,a boner.

Makoto moved first, walking slightly faster than usual to the table, and sliding on the spot between Nanase and Rin. Makoto seemed slightly smaller, sitting with arms curled, and Nanase looked at him for a few long minutes that made Sousuke sweat a bit, and he was absolutely sure they didn't open mouth to talk at all, and yet at some point Makoto shaked his head and his friend relaxed a bit, not casting Sousuke even one glance.

He thought Makoto was joking when he said they often don't talk that much, but apparently they didn't need to talk. Wow, he should step up his best-friend game with Rin. They were not even close to talking without using words. They more often shouted, either with anger or with laughter, at each other, rather than have this weird, but probably oddly comforting, connection.

 

At some point, the party slowly died out. Sousuke tried his best not to cast too many expectant glances at Makoto, but since his head buzzed with all the alcohol and a vision of finally getting into these pants, he wasn’t sure if he succeeded. Hazuki dragged Ryuugazaki somewhere, Sousuke didn’t care enough to keep track of them. But it was only four of them left now, and something better happen or he was going to combust. He was sitting next to Rin and they were engaged in a conversation, though he was still oddly aware of Makoto’s presence at the other side of the table. Sousuke didn’t look at anything but Rin, talking about their soon-to-happen transfer to Tokyo, as he reached for his drink, fingers brushing with Makoto’s for a second by mistake. Makoto withdrew his hand quickly, and Sousuke wasn’t so sure if that was a good sign.

He started feeling dizzy instead of pleasantly buzzed, and since Makoto didn’t show any signs of detaching himself from Nanase, Sousuke stood up, bid them a short farewell and headed to the exit. By the time he took in a handsome amount of fresh air outside- the pub smelt too much of cigarettes- he felt someone by his side. He knew it was Makoto, and he was rather happy as he side-eyed him, taking out a cigarette from his pocket.

“Didn’t know you smoked” Makoto says a bit slurred, and Sousuke smirks.

“Only after a good party.”

Makoto mouth formed a slight o, and Sousuke wondered mildly how it’s going to fit around his dick. If. If that mouth ever goes anywhere his dick, that is. He surely hoped so.

“So it was suddenly a good party? I thought you weren’t having fun.”

“Well, the night’s still young; one good party’s over, I’m still waiting if another will happen.” Sousuke shrugged nonchalantly, but he knew his pupils were blown a bit too much, Makoto was standing way too close for him to stay indifferent .

“Where’s that at?” he smiled, eyes half-lidded, and Sousuke gave in, leaning into Makoto’s inviting space. He could feel hot air of the huffed out breath on his cold skin as he stopped millimeters away from Makoto’s mouth.

“Wait. Are you drunk?” he couldn’t wrap his mind around why Makoto was so inviting now, and he moved his hand away as if Sousuke was sweating acid minutes before.

“No. Are you?”

They both were, to be honest, so Sousuke just went for it, because why the hell not.

As their lips locked, a small sigh escaped Makoto, and Sousuke was gone. He pressed Makoto to the cold pub wall, fumbling with Makoto’s coat to sneak one hand under his clothes, because he ached to touch his stomach for some reason; he had a glimpse at it once when Makoto was stretching in the office, his shirt tugged out of the trousers, and he ended up really fixated on it. The cold touch made Makoto’s muscle wriggle funnily, and he felt bubbling laughter find its way into a kiss, and Makoto’s head rolled on his shoulder as he started laughing.

“I-I’m really ticklish on the side” Makoto huffed in small gasps as Sousuke mouthed on his throat. “Why are you putting these little fridges under my shirt. It’s like -10 outside, I’m freezing” Makoto added, his lips brushing the skin on Sousuke’s neck, and he felt a wave of goose bumps attacking. Sousuke shivered at the feeling, but he didn’t allow himself to ease the pressure with which he pressed Makoto to the surface. Makoto lifted his head and they kissed again, and with each kiss Sousuke felt heat creep upon his neck and cheeks and when he felt Makoto’s big hands on his back, slowly sliding lower, he groaned and tried to shift even closer, as if to melt their bodies together, because that heat was amazing, but he wanted to feel Makoto’s body better and the clothing prevented it, so he rocked harder into the pleasantly flushed body, and with another rough movement he felt his feet slip on the ice covered pavement and he was falling over, never letting go of Makoto as both of them fell hard onto the ground.

And with that, Makoto seemed to sober up a bit. He laughed slightly as he helped Sousuke off the ground. Sousuke wouldn’t mind laying there for a bit longer if that only meant they didn’t have to put any distance between their bodies. He wouldn’t even mind getting naked right here right now.

Makoto didn’t meet his eyes as they stood in silence for a minute, and Sousuke almost gave up all hope, that is, until Makoto said:

“If you want to, we can come back to mine. It’s no love hotel, or not even an apartment as yours, but at least I live on my own” and Sousuke was over him again, kissing where he could reach. Makoto smiled into his mouth again and moved away.

“But you’re paying for the taxi.”

“I can buy a fucking plane if it’s gonna get us there faster.”

 

++

 

The ride in the taxi passed in a blink of an eye, and Sousuke was suddenly in Makoto's tiny apartment, taking, no, ripping off his clothes and trying to reach as much of Makoto's body as he could. When Makoto lost his jumper and a shirt, Sousuke's eyes rummaged all over Makoto's chest, taking in every detail.

'Remind me again why haven’t we done this months ago?' he gasped into Makoto's mouth, hands tracing every muscle they could find. Makoto was currently in the process of unbuttoning Sousuke's shirt, and he stood in awe for a second upon revealing his chest.

'Oh, my.' he managed, before placing tentative hands over his pecs, sliding them down on the stomach, feeling how Sousuke's breathing quickened with every passing second. Sousuke captured the teasing hands in a strong grip and pinned them by Makoto's head, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He felt more than heard Makoto's moan, so he rubbed their crotches against each other, using all his strength to keep Makoto in one place, not that Makoto seemed to want to go anywhere. There was just something so incredibly arousing and appealing having someone almost as tall and broad as him squirming under him, keeping them in check- usually Sousuke's partners were considerably tinier than himself, but that, that was some sort of equality and to have that equal writhe under him... He felt with his thigh how hard Makoto was, and with each teasing movement Makoto's grip- on his shoulders, on his ass, on the back of his neck- tightened on the border of being painful, yet it was everything but.

'Do you have any condoms?' Sousuke groaned into his skin, when one of Makoto's legs lifted slightly and pushed him invitingly closer. He should probably start worrying, since even though never in his life he wanted to fuck someone as much as he wanted to fuck Makoto right now, he was embarrassingly soft for the situation. He got harder sometimes just thinking about Makoto, for crying out loud, and now that the actual fucking  might occur- what the hell, dick?

'Um, y-yeah' Makoto steered them in the direction of wherever he kept his condoms. Wait, he did have condoms? Sousuke somehow didn't expect Makoto to really know what sex was, or to have had sex ever in his almost thirty years of life, with all that angel-like attitude, least of all to have a proof of having a sex life. Sousuke somewhat felt betrayed by that thought.

They fell on the rug covered floor a few times on the way, feet tangling, knees bumping into some of the pieces of furniture. It wasn't the easiest job to walk, kiss, grope, and stay coordinated on top of that. Sousuke knew that apart from the hickeys they determinately left on their bodies, there was going to be some bruises in the morning as well, he could feel them forming already. Makoto untangled himself from Sousuke to reach to the drawer and take out desired condom and a bottle of lotion and threw them on the bed. When he got to Sousuke again, broad hands palming Sousuke through his boxers, Sousuke's knees turned into jelly and he sat down on the bed with impact. Makoto sunk on his knees, nudging Sousuke's legs open to position himself in between them, and looked up at him. Sousuke's opened his mouth to say something along the lines of I jerked off to the vision of you sucking me off countless times or I want to fuck your mouth so hard that you will choke on my dick and feel me in your throat for the next two days, but all he managed was a weakest whimper while he lifted his hips off the bed to grant Makoto better access at getting rid of his boxers.  

Makoto seemed like a slightly different person from how he usually was in casual situations. Most of his awkwardness and shyness was gone, or maybe it was just because Sousuke couldn't see his eyes properly, only from time to time when Makoto lifted his unfocused gaze from Sousuke's dick to look at him through the eyelashes. Mostly he just saw the top of his bobbing head, and felt small licks and Makoto’s mouth felt so warm and inviting that Sousuke wanted to sob, because this was all he ever wanted and more, so why couldn't he get hard? After ten or fifteen minutes, Makoto let go of his cock with a soft pop, and wiped his mouth, hand still pumping at a steady pace where mouth left.

'Um.' he tilted his head, blush spreading on his cheeks. ' I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but- my jaw is starting to ache, and I don't think-'

Sousuke flipped on the bed and covered his eyes,and as if that was a cue, Makoto's hand stilled.

'Must be the goddamn alcohol, because I’ve never wanted to fuck anyone as much as I want to fuck you.' he realised what he said after the words left his mouth. He felt slightly embarrassed and stupid for admitting his feelings like that, mostly because it was the closest to a romantic confession he ever graced Makoto with.

Makoto gasped quietly and buried his red face in Sousuke's thigh. They sat like that for a few moments, Makoto's hand travelling up and down Sousuke's calf, until he said:

' Well, we can get dressed, s-sorry for all that-' Makoto's voice sounded a bit weak and disheartened, and Sousuke jerked at that and sat up. He looked firmly at Makoto and grabbed his arms to haul him up on the bed and kept him top of himself.

'Tomorrow's off. We can go for it till Sunday. I want to fuck you before this century ends.' Makoto got even more redder at that, if possible, but he smiled in Sousuke's arm.

They continued to map their bodies with licks and kisses, Sousuke feeling as he never felt before in his life while having sex, because it was ten times better than any sexual encounter he'd had. He couldn't get hard, and yet it definitely was the best thing he ever felt anyway. They rolled on the bed, changing positions constantly, feeling and touching as if they were never allowed to touch anyone before. He was so engrossed in his tragedy that he almost didn't feel all the pre-cum Makoto's dick was leaving on his stomach. Makoto didn't say a word about that, obviously, he was fucking altruistic and selfless even in bed. Sousuke felt bad, because one thing is that he couldn't get his cock to work properly, but it didn't mean he should derive Makoto of pleasure. He encircled the leaking cock with his hand and started pumping in a fast pace.

'S-slower..' Makoto sobbed out during a short break from Sousuke licking into his mouth. Sousuke grunted and slowed down, covering Makoto's throat with bitey kisses. In no time Makoto was coming, letting out quiet gasps of pleasure, and Sousuke engraved this view in his mind. He spreaded some of the cum on Makoto's stomach, then licked clean the remains from his hand, looking him straight in the eye as he worked his tongue over his fingers. Makoto blushed and covered his face with an arm.

He let Makoto catch a breath, even considered laying down to sleep his temporary impotence off, but then Makoto was propping himself up on his elbows, hand tracing through Sousuke hair, caressing his cheek and placing on  his neck only to drag him down for a kiss.

Sousuke let out a surprised whimper as Makoto rolled them over to position themselves in a more comfortable position.

'I have good stamina... or so I was told.' Makoto smiled embarrassingly, eyes casted down, looking at his fidgeting fingers. ' So, if you want to try some more... Just give me some time, I can go again. If- if that's not inconvenient.' Sousuke scoffed at the use of the word  and nodded in approval, before engaging in an another series of wet, hot kisses. After some time, he felt Makoto's body flush with embarrassment and need as his cock hardened again, and this time Sousuke didn't let it take him so much time before going at it, and getting down on Makoto.

He felt Makoto slide his fingers into his hair, but no pressure, he didn't push him deeper onto his cock. He just kept his hand there as to have something to hold on to. Makoto's other arm was covering his face, not that Sousuke could watch his features from his current position anyway, or that he could divide his attention between admiring Makoto’s o face and not choking on his dick. He wasn't the best at giving head, but he tried to at least be decent; but from the noises Makoto was letting out from time to time, Sousuke guessed he wasn't that horrible. Makoto pushed on his arms a little, tugging, so Sousuke stopped moving, but didn't let go of his dick. He looked up at Makoto with a raise of his brows, but kept on giving occasional small licks and kisses.

'Oh my god-' Makoto moaned, so that had to be a nice view, because his eyes got darker, but then he stopped Sousuke's hand and almost forced his head off the sensitive member.

'If you keep going, I will come.' it didn't sound too bad to Sousuke, but then Makoto added' I-I thought, we could try a different approach.' at that, Sousuke's eyebrows shot up even higher, because really, what was left to do? But he sat up and spread his arms a bit and let out a sarcastic I'm all yours. Makoto pushed him down, climbed over him and reached for the bottle of forgotten lube. Sousuke frowned at that. It's not that he haven't been fucked in the ass before, but it was his least favorite of all sexual activities. If Makoto giving him head didn't work, then he doubt fingering would.

' I don't think it will work.' he shared his suspicion at what Makoto’s face went longer, and he put the bottle down on the bed. Sousuke grimaced. ' But, yeah, whatever. We can try that, if you want.'

‘ Just tell me if you want me to stop.’

Makoto leaned down to kiss him, his hands forgetting lube, instead he spread them over his chest to rub on his nipples. Sousuke hummed into the pleasant feeling of Makoto's hands working his nipples and of the hot traces his tongue left as he mouthed on his throat. He felt wet kisses sliding down onto his chest, and soon the fingers were replaced by Makoto's lips. Sousuke gasped audibly as Makoto went even lower, expecting him to take Sousuke's length into his amazing mouth again, but Makoto only sunk lower, kissing his hipbones, avoiding his cock, and spreading his legs wider.

'What-' Sousuke said, observing Makoto through half-lidded eyes, and didn't even object too much when Makoto lifted his legs up and put them on his shoulders, or when Makoto's incredibly hot tongue probed at his entrance. He sighed at the feeling of the lapping motion and then at how incredible it felt to have it inside him, slowly and persistently preparing him for Makoto's fingers.

Sousuke thought he moaned Makoto's name, his first name, but Makoto didn't let him know, continuing to lick his way in. When Sousuke buckled into his face at some point, Makoto took a breath and opened the bottle, covering his hand with the cold lotion.He glanced up at Sousuke and stopped for a second.

‘ Is this okay for me to d-' he wasn\t meant to finish, because Sousuke dragged him down for a incredibly messy, incoherent kiss, and he drawled a don’t you dare to stop; because, it was surprisingly working, he felt something tense up in his stomach, and as soon as Makoto worked his fingers inside him, Sousuke felt he was getting hard. This guy was magic.

Makoto leant down again and took his length in his mouth, supporting himself with his other hand as his fingers worked in and out in just a perfect pace, hot mouth surrounding his cock. When Makoto hit his prostate, Sousuke heard himself almost shout, because damn, up to this time the few times he let a guy fuck him, they didn't even get close to find his prostate, and this, this was incredible. Sousuke felt high, but he managed to unwrap a condom and spread his legs wider, grabbing Makoto's hair.

'Can you please fuck me already' he let out with a weak moan, as Makoto found his prostate again, he nearly kicked him in the face, his body reacted so strongly to that that he couldn’t tame himself from jerking.

Makoto gulped down, nodding, and took the open condom from Sousuke's impatient hands to put it on, more precisely than what Sousuke would achieve in this state. Sousuke gasped a few incentives as Makoto positioned himself, his hard dick pressing into Sousuke's loosened up hole. Then, he practically impaled himself on Makoto, urging Makoto to go as deep as he could, only then he let out a ragged breath, easing himself into the feeling of something big stretching him from the inside. Makoto groaned, his head hung low, as he deliberately slowly moved out just to press in with slightly more force, and as he repeated that a few times, Sousuke tried to lift his hips a bit to give even more access, and Makoto's firm hands helped him at that and hold him in that position, and then he sank slightly deeper in him, and it must be either the position, or maybe it was just Makoto's ability to do exactly what Sousuke wished for, but he hit his prostate again, and at Sousuke's eager whimpers and the way he arched his back, Makoto just kept jamming into the same spot over and over again, and it wasn't long that Sousuke was coming hard all over their stomachs, repeating a prayer consisting of Makoto's name and some cursing.

Makoto didn't release straight after, mouthing on Sousuke's over-sensitive skin something between sorry and it feels so good, and Sousuke thought he's going crazy, because that feeling was so horribly overwhelmingly maddening, his ass used like that, when he couldn't even let out a sound because his throat was clenched from all the sensations. At few last, desperate, hard swings of Makoto's hips, as he hit his over-sensitive prostate, Sousuke let out an inaudible sob, and Makoto rode his orgasm out, hands letting go of Sousuke's hips and gently pinning his sweaty arms into the mattress.

Finally, after catching a breath, he slid out of Sousuke and get rid of the used condom, and they laid side by side, Sousuke unable to move from the most mind blowing sexual experience he's ever had, Makoto trying to get back to himself after two consecutive orgasms.

Sousuke felt Makoto's hand on his chest, and he forced his arms to spread a bit to let Makoto snuggle closer. They didn't say a word, the only sound was their fast breathing slowly coming back to normal. He wanted to say anything, but he let his eyes close and it seemed as too much effort to open them again. He felt Makoto's chest falling rhythmically next to him, and he soon followed his example and fell asleep.

 

++

 

When the morning sun hit his eyes, Makoto groaned, because he definitely didn't want to wake up just yet. It was a weekend off, and it's been ages since he got a whole weekend off, no last minute calls and businesses he needed to take care of at the office or in the town, and he intended to sleep the past few weeks off. Especially that he felt a bit of a headache spreading, probably yesterday's alcohol kicking in. He wondered if Haru got home safely, usually they shared a cab, but yesterday he left Haru with Rin to go after Sousuke, so-

The previous night events came back to him, and he snapped his eyes open, hands covering his mouth. Only then he felt he was still laying on Sousuke's outstretched arm, which looked rather ridiculous, since Sousuke rolled  away in his sleep as far as it was possible, their bodies not touching at all but for the arm.

He moved, wondering how was that even possible that Sousuke's arm wasn't dead, but then he realised they'd only slept for two hours.

Sousuke snapped his eyes open and groaned angrily, louder than Makoto, at the sun rays hitting his eyes.

'What the fuck' he muttered, and when his gaze focused on Makoto, at first his eyes widened in surprise, but then he smirked. Makoto smiled back at him, because he had to say- this, this night was good. Makoto wouldn't say the best one yet, because there was once that guy at college- Makoto still blushed remembering their night together. But, if Sousuke cared to ever repeat that, Makoto wouldn't mind.

Now that he thought of it, Makoto was surprised Sousuke was still there- he would rather expect him gone before his one night stand had woken up, or at least to catch him trying to sneak out. But instead, Sousuke rolled on his back, stretching his arms, and Makoto felt rather glad that Sousuke stayed because this guy was gorgeous to look at- his broad chest, amazingly shaped stomach... Makoto felt blushing even remembering the things he did yesterday, but there was something about Sousuke that made Makoto step out of his usual comfort zone. He didn't understand- usually, when someone rubbed him the wrong way, he tried not to engage in arguments and just stay away from that person altogether. And Sousuke rubbed him the wrong way half of the time, and instead of cutting the contact, he just kept on meeting with him and talking to him more and more. He felt sad and uncomfortable whenever Sousuke spoke with so much hatred about Haru, or when he casted these patronising looks at Nagisa or Rei. He didn't even like how much Sousuke  seemed to try to shape Rin into another version of himself- without much success, thank god.

The funniest part was, Makoto suspected Sousuke didn't even realise how weird his behaviour towards Rin was. He believed Sousuke thought they were good friends, best friends, maybe, but Makoto thought it was more about the past than present, because he couldn't imagine how Rin could fully be friends with someone who hated with fiery passion the most important person in Rin's life.

And yet, against all the odds, here he was, laying naked next to a smirking Sousuke. He expected Sousuke to say something like Let's pretend this never happened, or This stays between us, and don't try to blackmail me when I get rich, or something utterly Sousuke-like ridiculous, but instead he was suddenly being kissed and pressed down the mattress.

'Thanks for curing my momentary impotency.' Sousuke grinned down at him, and Makoto gaped for a second, because Sousuke looked genuinely happy. Maybe he really wanted to sleep with Makoto? He sighed as he felt Sousuke grinding down on him, and oh, he loved slow, morning sex, but first things first.

'I feel really gross..' he smiled up at Sousuke, and put a hand between them. 'I need to take a shower. You can join, if you want.' he added, because as much as he needed to wash off the previous night memorabilia from his skin, he honestly wanted to get his hands on Sousuke's firm muscles again, and giving him head was an amazing experience on its own, too. Sousuke grimaced at first, but then got up at the invitation.

'Sounds good to me.'

++

They weren't together, Makoto was rather certain of that, since Sousuke didn't say anything about not seeing other  people, or dates, or anything that could indicate they should consider themselves a couple. Apart from the sex, nothing changed- they still met frequently, but it wasn't more romantic, or ground-breaking.

Once, Sousuke brought him a huge box of chocolates, but it was mainly because the night before, sex got slightly out of the hand and Makoto ended up with his knees worn down from the scratchy rug on his floor. Apparently when you have a very energetic sex on the rug, your knees tend to bleed after, and it takes over a week and a half and a lot of lotions, bandages and uncomfortableness to heal them.

Sousuke, that poser, had the chocolate box delivered by a postman, without any name tag, making Makoto super uncomfortable when he tried to explain to his friends who his secret admirer might've been, or rather denying that he had any. Even Sousuke's smirk didn't give anything away.

Haru obviously noticed right after that night out drinking that led to everything, but he didn't comment on Makoto's choice of intercourse partners.

From time to time, on occasions like that with the chocolates, Makoto wondered himself why Sousuke tempted him so much. Makoto wasn't the type to go for good looking people, or rather, to go for people with looks but with nasty personalities, and however Makoto wouldn't try to excuse Sousuke, his personality was seriously nasty. But then, he caught himself captured by these tiny attempts at kindness Sousuke showed- there was also something about his lack of basic social skills that seemed to draw Makoto in. Not that he himself wasn’t shy or awkward at times, but to him, that wasn't the inability to have proper social interactions. Sousuke's serial indifference towards people who weren't successful or didn't want to be successful, however, was.

He didn't dislike Sousuke, not anymore. But he still found him hard to understand and read, and he definitely felt too often like he was imposing on Sousuke, or that he was being boring. Sousuke however kept on reaching to him in his weird, stiff way, and Makoto felt weak at times because of that.

And, obviously, Sousuke's body was nothing but a big perk, too. Due to his rather large posture, Makoto almost never felt  fully comfortable around people. Was it his friends, or people he occasionally dated- usually they were smaller, tinier, shorter. It was so nice to be embraced, handled, to have to lift his head, even if only slightly, to reach the mouth or look into someone's eyes. It made him feel if not safer, then definitely more at peace.

  
  


++

 

Funnily, they never spent time at Sousuke's place. Usually for sex they went either to Makoto's, or a love hotel. And yeah, that one time they tried doing it in the office bathroom after everyone had left. They got desperate, and didn't want to wait to get home or find a room near by. Unfortunately, it turned out when you were both tall and broad, and there was two of you trying to squeeze in a tiny cabin, heads bump and there was not really much space to move, so the sex got really awkward really quickly, and Makoto swore to never choose a public place for fooling around again.

.

They were laying in Makoto's bed when Sousuke dropped the bomb.

'I really like you.' he said offhandedly, but Makoto was taken aback a bit.

He thought No, you don't, but smiled at Sousuke and closed his eyes. He knew Sousuke didn't really mean what he said. He probably thought he liked Makoto, or loved, because that's what Sousuke meant, there was no other reading to his words. But Makoto firmly believed you can't love someone without accepting them as a whole pack, and Sousuke hated his best friend, acted patronisingly towards his friends from work, and repeatedly told Makoto he should aim higher, even if what Makoto was currently doing- he liked that, and he felt fulfilled doing this line of work in this town. He didn't feel he belong anywhere else- at that moment, at least. Because he couldn't say he never considered going to a bigger city, under the circumstances he would keep doing what he did, if someone offered.

He didn't face Sousuke about any of that, though, because after their two conversations about feelings and relationships, he gathered Sousuke just didn't understand certain things, like, feelings, or that he wasn't always right.

He couldn't deny, however, that he felt pleasant warmth spreading in his chest at that confession. He often thought he wasn't good enough, just as everyone else doubt themselves from time to time, so hearing that from someone who usually didn't even cared about what happened to anyone- that was a weird feeling, but not an unpleasant one.

'Erm-' Sousuke grabbed him to hold him closer and looked at him from under furrowed brows. 'Not that I'm whining or anything, but isn't it time for you to reply to that?' Makoto could swear Sousuke was slightly sweating, and he smiled at him again, straining his neck to kiss him in the corner of his mouth.

'If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be here.' he said, and he felt his eyes crinkle from the smile. Sousuke grimaced and covered Makoto's smile with his hand.

'You are always smiling. You know you don't have to hold that facade when we are alone, right?'

Makoto gaped at him again, then chuckled gently, hiding his face in Sousuke's arm. Sousuke scowl deepened.

'What's so funny about that?' in response, Makoto lifted his face and smiled wider, feeling Sousuke's grip tighten. And here he goes again, with all the funny life advices.

'What if I like smiling? It's in my nature. I really like smiling, I feel better when I can do that.' at that, Sousuke hummed to indicate his disagreement.

'That is really weird and unheard of.' Sousuke offered after a couple of awkward moments of silence, and Makoto snuggled closer, his shoulders shaking gently in a silent laughter. This was all so surreal. Who seriously thinks smiling has to be forced and unnatural?

' A lot of people said I was awkward.' Makoto summed up, looking at Sousuke's face. ' I would've never thought it was because I smiled so often.'

Sousuke moved to distance himself from Makoto, and Makoto let him. He looked as if Makoto insulted his family. This- this whole thing they had going on was so stiff and awkward at times. He wasn't used being close with someone as incompatible with him as Sousuke. All his friends were more than less similar to him, at least they shared similar values and opinions to a large degree, even if their approaches to life differed slightly. But with Sousuke?

'Are you pouting?' Makoto asked, touching Sousuke's back and rubbing it slowly. Sousuke snorted.

'I have to think, and can't do this with your horribly nice face so close to mine.' he heard Sousuke mutter, and Makoto laughed again.

He knew Sousuke probably didn't get why it was all so funny to him. But it was the weirdest relationship he ever had with anyone, two awkward people unable to show emotions in two different ways, and yet here they were, and it was miraculously working, and Makoto kind of liked what they had.

He didn't like to think too much about how Sousuke was going to leave for Tokyo soon.

 

++

 

Makoto didn't expect from Sousuke any clear love declarations or promises to keep in touch or proposes to sustain a long distance relationship. He prepared himself not to expect too much.

But, saying goodbye would be nice.

At first, when he got out of the station and Sousuke wasn't there to  pick him up and walk with him like he did every other morning, Makoto thought maybe he had arrived too early, so he waited for him for fifteen minutes. Sousuke never showed up. He went to the office, feeling slightly worried, because it wasn't like him at all.

He didn't come to work, either. Makoto wondered over it, but since Rin didn't say anything and talked with everyone as normal and was in high spirit...Even though Rin knew he had to leave his friends soon, the vision of finally achieving his long term goal made him really excited, and Makoto was so happy for him.

So, it seemed nothing happened to Sousuke,  he hadn't have an accident or wasn't sick. Was he just running late?

But Sousuke didn't come to work at all. Well, that would be if not slightly unexpected, but acceptable, to have a day off. But Sousuke didn't show up to work for the whole week either, and Makoto felt sick each time he looked at the now empty desk Sousuke usually occupied. Sousuke didn't return his texts, and after three days, Makoto gave up on trying to contact him. Something had probably happened and he had to leave. Makoto tried not to stress over it, but he couldn't help but work himself up and feel constantly worried, because it must've been something really terrible if Sousuke just disappeared as if he never existed in their life at all. But he didn't say anything about that to Rin, didn't ask- if there was anything he needed to know, Rin would've told him, or betray it with his character. Truth was, the second day Sousuke didn't show up, now that he thought about it, Rin did act bit more tense than usual. But since he didn't tell anyone anything, Makoto buried himself in work and tried to ignore the knot tying up in his stomach.

It was only when after ten days of Sousuke's absence, Rin started packing Sousuke's personal belongings from his desk that Makoto gave up on keeping silent, and when the occasion for them to be alone appeared, he approached Rin.

'Um, Rin...' Makoto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He felt weird doing this, but he wanted to be assured nothing bad happened. And he kind of wanted to know what happened at all, why Sousuke just disappeared. He wasn't pining or anything- feeling sad about how Sousuke cut their contact set aside, he was genuinely worried. Rin looked up from the box he was packing, his brows knitted together.

'Yeah?' Rin offered him a small smile, and Makoto looked away.

'I-I don't want to pry or sound...' he searched for the word ' o-obsessive or anything, but- Sousuke didn't say anything, he just stopped coming to work, and I just wanted to make sure he was alright?'

Rin dropped the box with impact. Makoto swore he could see his face change color, and his eyes showed nothing but anger.

'That son of a- He- he didn't talk to you?' Rin managed through gritted teeth. Makoto raised eyebrows, surprised.

'He didn't talk to me about what?'

Rin clenched his fists.

'About transferring earlier to Tokyo and- Jesus, he is such a piece of shit, how could he..." Rin looked up at him, and he got so frustrated and furious Makoto saw his eyes glimmer slightly with angry tears.

'Um.. Rin, that's okay, calm down-' he bend over the desk and gave  Rin a tight hug. Rin tensed up in his embrace and shook his head.

'S-stop comforting me, he ditched you and you are comforting me?' Rin let out an unamused bark, his voice thick. Makoto felt warmth at the thought of Rin worrying so much about his well being. He never pondered over it, but it did bother him sometimes that he felt his and Rin's friendship got weaker, so that was oddly comforting seeing Rin like that. Makoto couldn't smile, though- Rin's face looked really miserable when he was crying, so he just patted him on the back while Rin's breathing evened out again. Rin hugged him back real strong before letting go and rubbing at the corners of his eyes.

'Uh, okay. I got to send him the rest of his stuff back. He just came home one day and said they called him to move to Tokyo a bit earlier and- but yeah, that doesn't matter now, right?' Rin offered with a small smile. Makoto nodded and helped Rin with his bag, walking with him to his car.

'Well, thanks for sharing the news.' Makoto said as a goodbye, after Rin dropped him off by his house.

He wasn't heart-broken, but the uneasy feeling in his stomach made falling asleep problematic, and he rolled on his bed in a state of half-sleep through the whole night.

 

++

 

At some point during the weeks to follow Makoto arrived at the conclusion the whole situation was probably his fault, a bit. During one of the last make out sessions with Sousuke, riding out his orgasm, he sobbed out something between the lines of i need you so bad. He didn't know up till now if he meant needing Sousuke to touch him more, to connect to him more on the emotional level or whatever his orgasm high-driven mind came up with, but the thing was Sousuke stilled half-movement for few seconds upon hearing this, and never addressed that later on.

He could imagine Sousuke wasn't the type to lose himself in emotional commitment, and hearing someone say I love you or I need you is stressful enough when you knew you did care and love that person back. Even though he himself admitted out loud that he liked Makoto more than, let's say, a one night stand that was fuckable (it was so ridiculous Makoto felt valued by that), when Makoto replied in the same manner, Sousuke had to get weirded out.

Makoto didn't feel bitter. He wasn't expecting any romantic fireworks on Sousuke's side, but he did feel hurt when he thought he was just dropped like an old toy Sousuke came to get bored with. Makoto knew he might had some slight, unattended abandonment issues,  with his two best friends coming together and spending more time with each other than with him. And he wasn't jealous, but as much as he could rationalise this change of situation, and feel happy that they both gained from this, how they made each other into better people, drawing out all the potential only they could; but it still stung, mostly when he didn't expect it, and it made him feel vulnerable and disgusted at his selfishness.

So, Sousuke moving to Tokyo without a word didn't leave him shattered and sobbing frantically into his pillow for next few months or crying when he found a lost pair of socks Sousuke left at his place. But this whole affair added largely to some of the sleepless hours when he was at his weakest.

He wasn't madly in love but he did feel good having whatever they had, there was some kind of comfort he never felt with other people, so it simply stung and he couldn't help but think that there must be something wrong with him, if people just keep on deciding to move on without him. He hated feeling self-pity, but times called for it sometimes, and there was no helping it.

 

++

 

A doorbell woke Makoto up around midnight. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as he put on pants and a jumper. He felt slightly miserable, since it was the first time in three months when he got finally tired so bad that he had collapsed after coming back from work straight away, and hoped to have a full night sleep, since he was allowed to come in later on Saturday.

He scratched his head, trying to rule his bed head, not with much success. When he got to the door, he started worrying- people rarely visited him at home, so it must be some crisis if someone came here at such an hour.

He opened the door to a surprise. Sousuke.

'Um.' was all Makoto could offer, and seeing how cold and tired Sousuke looked, he just moved aside, letting him inside.

They stood awkwardly, sharing an uncomfortable silence, tension high between them. Sousuke shoved hands into his pockets, glaring at his feet, his winter coat dripping wet.

'I will get you a towel.' Makoto offered, he could hear worry in his own voice. Sousuke's head snapped at that and he grabbed Makoto's hand, and Makoto felt his body jerking away at that sudden movement. It's been well over three months since Sousuke decided to leave, and Makoto's body forgot the sudden possessiveness bordering on aggression in Sousuke’s gestures that came out on surface when he was being too emotional.

'Sorry.' Sousuke let go of his hand and moved back, leaning on the door. He looked too hot an Makoto reproached himself for still feeling so attracted to someone who left him without a word. Makoto felt something in his stomach tighten, but all he wanted right now was to go back to bed. Sousuke took a deep breath, and Makoto cleared his throat.

'It will only take a moment. Unless you want me to stay, I didn't really buy a ticket back so-' Sousuke still avoided his eyes, and the fists in his pockets clenched, Makoto could see the movement. Truth be told, he didn't want Sousuke staying the night, but he didn't want him going out in the cold without drying first. The weather was horrible, and he would probably die before he got to find a hotel to stay in till he could go back to Tokyo.

'Just... gather your thoughts. I will bring you a towel and  something dry to change for now.' Makoto left undisturbed this time. He tried not to come up with any scenarios why Sousuke was here, keeping his mind clear and his hands busy. When he came back, Sousuke still stood in the same position, didn't flinch a bit. Makoto moved a chair for Sousuke to sit down and offered him a towel with a small smile. Sousuke groaned and took the towel from him, wiping his hair as in a trance.

'Thanks' he said, stiffly returning the towel. Makoto hang it on his chair and gestured at a pile of dry clothes.

'Change, you'll seriously catch a cold if you sit in wet clothes, it's not exactly warm in here. And I will get them dry while we-you talk, so you can change back when you're ready to go.'

Sousuke's mouth formed a thin line, and he nodded, accepting the change of clothes. After hanging the dripping wear on the radiator, Makoto came back to sit across Sousuke.

' Alright' after a minute of silence, he yawned, rubbing on his eyes some more, and looked at Sousuke expectantly.

It took another couple of minutes before Sousuke opened his mouth. Makoto noticed it had a slight scar, as if he had split his lip some time ago.

' So. Rin told me you took it pretty badly that I.. After what I did.' Makoto raised his eyebrows, because yeah, it wasn't the most pleasant, but. He survived. He didn't cry at work or ask Rin to leave him Sousuke's shirts to rub his face in them. He wouldn't say he took it bad. If anything, he took it normal. But now it seemed really inappropriate if Sousuke tried to apologise and he couldn’t even articulate what he did wrong.

' And what did you do?' Makoto felt like he was talking to Ren's two years old son. They used similar technique- keep on asking questions so the guilty part realises on his own what he did wrong. It felt weird taking this approach with a 29 year old man.

'You know what.' Sousuke growled, and Makoto knitted his eyebrows. Was Sousuke trying to apologise to him while making faces and growling? Sousuke closed his eyes and massaged bridge of his nose. He muttered a breathless fuck.

'I left without saying anything and not letting you know I wanted to go to Tokyo sooner than later. I needed that time, though. I realised how miserable I was before I got to know you and that I don't like my life that much when you are not in it, and I'd like you to come to Tokyo with me, because I need you, too.' the last part of the sentence was hardly audible, but Makoto managed to make out the words.

 

That was unexpected.

He felt blush spreading on his face- out of all things he expected Sousuke to announce, that one he didn't even think of. Sousuke looked very constipated as he crossed arms over his chest. He stared hard at some innocent furniture, his mouth a tight line.

Makoto rubbed his neck a few times, thinking what to say. Finally, he thought about putting his hand on Sousuke's arm. Sousuke's gaze focused on him for a moment before he got probably spooked with what he had said and he started again a very serious, long-distance stare contest with Makoto's desk.

' I don't want to. I like it here, this is my home. Here are my friends, here's all my work... I can't go to Tokyo and start everything from the beginning.' he said as gently as he could, but Sousuke's gaze snapped back at him.

'I could find a place for you to transfer, that's not a problem.'

'Well, it is for me? I wouldn't feel right if I didn't work for it myself. And I like my clients here, and they trust and expect of me that I will take care of them.' Makoto frowned slightly, because he could tell this talk wasn't going to end too well.

' I am sorry, but right now... I like it here best, There's nothing for me in Tokyo. I can't go over there just so we can indulge ourselves in that relationship.'

'But I apologised!' Sousuke said, his voice angry. Makoto leant back in his chair, his mouth hanging open and feeling really confused.

'Yeah, but it's not about that? It's just that my whole life is here. I can't just move out.'

'Your life, as in Nanase?' Sousuke's drawl challenged him in a way, because he must've noticed during all their time spent together that Makoto didn't like to fight or take a stance unless it was about his friends. Makoto felt way too tired and sleepy for this conversation.

' I thought we talked about that a year ago, Yamazaki-kun.' he changed back to Sousuke's surname on purpose. He was really exhausted and as much as he sort of longed for Sousuke, he wouldn't just leave everything to go to Tokyo with him. Besides, Sousuke ran away when he heard Makoto saying he needed him, it took him almost half a year to admit he needed Makoto back. That might've seemed appealing and romantic to him ten years ago, but now he just wanted someone to sleep in a bed with and who wouldn't act like a spoiled kid who kicks at stuff when something goes wrong, or who shouts at people who dare to not share his opinions. That might be tempting when you are eighteen and believe you can change literally everything around you so this kind of people are a challenge, but when you are almost thirty you just want to have someone to come home to. 'If you can't remember it, please, try to recall what I said about me and Haru back then. When you do, we can talk.' I need you to grow up.

Sousuke's face drained color and he could see his hands shaking. Makoto closed his eyes and let out a sigh, reaching towards his arm. Sousuke moved away with an ugly grimace.

'Don't touch me.' as Makoto looked at him in a slightly exasperated confusion,Sousuke added stiffly. 'Thank you for hearing me out. I better get going.'

'You can stay here for the night, but I need to go back to sleep. Also, I don't think your clothes are dried yet.'

Sousuke scoffed. He rose up, starting to take the shirt off to give it back to Makoto. Makoto shook his head.

'Keep my clothes on, if you want to go, don’t change back into the dump ones..' at that, Sousuke took out his mobile and called taxi company. As they waited for the taxi driver to announce his arrival, Makoto packed dump clothes in a spare bag and gave it to Sousuke.

When the phone buzzed, letting them know the taxi is waiting, Makoto started unlocking the door and said in a quiet voice:

'Just watch out for yourself, ok?'

Sousuke smiled ugly.

'I always do.' with that, he pinned Makoto uncomfortably to the door, Makoto felt his hand crushed under the weight of their bodies as Sousuke leaned in and gave him a very desperate kiss, his strong jaw moving and working Makoto's mouth open, wet tongue slipping in. Makoto would lie if he said that he didn't like it, he kissed him back, sighing sleepily in the warm feeling, and he really missed that. But he pushed on Sousuke, because his bent hand started to really hurt and Sousuke broke the contact, and nodded his head shortly and awkwardly.

'Take care.'

And with that, he was gone.

 

++

  
  


Memories of their last kiss haunted Makoto from time to time, because even if he didn’t like being handled that roughly, he might or might not jerked off once or twice to a fantasy of him and Sousuke getting at it on his door. But he rarely reminiscent that last encounter, because even though it didn’t hurt after seven years, he didn’t like to remind himself of these days. But sometimes it just made him laugh, the thought of Sousuke’s dramatic exit from his life. That was a wild ride from the beginning till the end.

But all the memories of Sousuke hit him hard and fast when the bus passed by the “Tokyo” plaquette and it entered the city streets.

He was going on a business meeting here, and decided to stay for another day longer before going back to Iwatobi. He neede to try and find an apartment, since the head of the company offered him a position in the city.

Apparently, someone was really impressed with his results, and decided he should put his skills to help out small business owners in Tokyo. Makoto agreed upon doing some thinking- if moving would mean he could develop and help more people,and he’d get to see Haru more often, and get to meet with Rin as well, then there was almost nothing holding him back.

He would miss the place he lived his entire life- but he felt this was a big chance, and he knew he could help more people if he moved into a bigger area.

He received many gifts from his clients, took a holiday, and went to Tokyo to meet his new boss and talk his duties before moving to the city.

Makoto hoped Rin or Haru would show him around and help him with the flat hunting, but sadly it turned out that they were both on some business trips at that time.

He wasn’t discouraged, though. It will probably take him slightly longer to get around, but he will manage. He had to move here and live here soon, after all, so maybe throwing himself in deep water from the beginning wasn’t that stupid.

 

He was afraid he was running late, so he sped up his pace and as he entered the building, he ran into someone and had a coffee spilt all over his shirt. He apologised the coffee spiller profusely and asked the receptionist about the bathroom’s whereabouts, and since he still had some time left, he quickly headed towards the direction the lady kindly showed him.

Unfortunately, turned out the building was more complicated than he thought, and after five minutes of walking around in a weirdly abandonen part of the building, he gave up and just tried to rub the coffee off his shirt with his hand, eyeing his reflection in the window to check if the stain was getting off or getting worse. He saw someone move behind him, so he turned around, glad to be able to ask someone for directions.

‘Excuse me, do you know where the bath-’ he stopped and stared at the man in front of him.

‘Ma-Tachibana?’ Sousuke said, and for few weird moments they stood their ground, until Sousuke took two hesitant steps and held out his hand. Makoto started breathing again at that- he was sort of afraid Sousuke will growl at him or ignore him. ‘What was your question?’ he took a look on Makoto’s shirt and smirked. ‘Toilets are over there. What are you doing here?’

Makoto let his mouth ran as he explained the reasons behind his visit as they walked to the bathroom. Sousuke nodded and even smiled once or twice, especially at a slight jab from Makoto’s side at how Sousuke predicted Makoto would be fired if he kept on tending to small businesses, and here he was, being promoted and transferred for exactly the same thing he refused to change when Sousuke advised him.

Makoto wondered how on Earth it’s been more than half a decade since they last saw each other, and the feeling of them talking was both so familiar and comfortable and new at the same time. He couldn't put his finger on what was different, that is, before Sousuke stopped before the toilet, opening doors for him, and asked ‘So, how’s Rin and Haruka?’ and Makoto halted.

He’s never heard Sousuke use Haru’s name before. To most of the society, it would be normal, but all of them agreed to call themselves by names, and Sousuke was told to use their names freely as well, but he always declined and used their surnames, without honorifics on top of that.

He turned around and tried to not show on his face how surprised he was.

‘Good. Why, haven’t you talked to Rin lately?’

Sousuke rubbed his neck and avoided his eyes as he replied that no, Rin got really angry at him about how he left Iwatobi and though they worked together and kept in touch, their contact became less and less frequent, and at some point they stopped talking at all, apart from the casual exchanges when they happened to be at work at the same time or during the business meetings.

Makoto felt himself frowning, because Rin was the only close person in Sousuke’s life, so that must’ve been a hard blow.

‘Didn’t you try to renew the contact?’

Sousuke considered him for a longer moment, before nodding at the door.

‘Don’t you have to go for a meeting in few minutes?’ Makoto yelped at that an rushed to the toilet. Sousuke was still waiting outside, staring out of the window, hands in pockets.

‘If you want to, we can grab dinner after you’re finished.’ he said, as they shook hands again, and Makoto felt Sousuke’s firm grip linger slightly longer. ‘No pressure, though.’

Makoto bowed and quickly affirmed that he’d gladly go for a dinner, because he really wanted to know what happened to Sousuke during that time, he heard some things from Rin from time to time, but after some time even Rin didn’t update them anymore. He also knew Sousuke and Rin fell out because Rin had told him, but he was curious whether Sousuke would admit it himself, so Makoto was doubly surprised by the confession and by the fact that Sousuke didn’t try to blame Rin, but clearly said he was at fault.

There was something more open about Sousuke’s attitude now, and Makoto realised he wouldn’t mind if he had to get to know him again.

 

Sousuke left him his phone number, so after a two hour meeting he called him and they decided to meet by the entrance.

They walked slowly, enjoying the warm spring day, and Makoto felt weirdly at peace with the world. Sousuke talked about his life since he moved back to Tokyo, about the big targets he had hit, about how well he worked with Rin even if they weren’t on as friendly terms as before, he talked about some of his favorite places in Tokyo, about his travels to the States and Europe, though it was Rin who travelled more, with his American degree and all. Makoto smiled and asked questions, and he couldn’t help but notice that during this conversation he learnt more about Sousuke’s tastes than what he knew about him when they spent almost every second day interacting seven years ago. He voiced his thoughts, and Sousuke turned away to hide a smile.

‘Swear you won’t repeat that to anyone, but’ Sousuke looked at him with a half-smile ‘I was such a tool, I never told you I had a car and that I don’t take the trains, and that I don’t like coffee, and I did all that just so I could spend more time with you. And once I almost had a heart attack because I couldn’t come up with any explanation why I should stay late with you, so I came up with an electricity emergency.’

Makoto laughed at that, because he vaguely remembered thinking back then if the electricity accident really had happened.

‘I saw through you with that electricity lie’ Makoto chuckled and crossed arms over his chest, holding up his bag. Sousuke gestured at it, asking if he should help him, but Makoto shook his head. ‘But then, I have to admit I myself stayed few times over-time without anything important to do, because at the beginning I wanted to help you so badly to find more friends at Iwatobi.’ Makoto turned his gaze and looked around. ‘I love our town, but I must admit I’m really taken with the city. It’s beautiful.’

Sousuke nodded, and they finished walking in the most comfortable silence Makoto ever experienced.

The dinner was amazing, in a very fancy restaurant with rich decor and from Sousuke’s words, with a grand tradition and history. Sousuke insisted on paying since he was the one to invite Makoto, and it strangely felt like a date.

The food was delicious, and the conversation between the bites flew just right. Makoto felt weirdly as if it was a meeting with a complete stranger. Sousuke was still stiff, and didn’t smile too much, but there was definitely something different about him, and Makoto felt drawn in by that even more.

By the time they left the restaurant, it was almost dark. Sousuke proposed to drive Makoto to his hotel, but Makoto shook his head. He proposed to grab a drink before they went their separate ways.

Makoto half-expected Sousuke to make a move on him, but even when they sat by the tiny table, foreheads almost touching when they leaned in closer to hear the words over the music and general noises of drunk people communicating, he didn’t do a thing.

Not that the tension wasn’t present- Makoto felt his pulse quickening each time their knees bumped, or that one time when Sousuke leaned a bit closer, his lips deliciously wet from the coke he was drinking. He felt Sousuke jump a bit when Makoto’s hand slipped accidentally on his thigh.

‘Don’t you have work in the morning?’ Makoto asked when he noticed it was almost midnight. Sousuke looked at his watch.

‘Yeah, but I think this is a special occasion, so we should celebrate. I’d have never thought you’d move to Tokyo.’

Makoto closed his eyes and smiled, because he was really content all his hard work paid off and someone was genuinely impressed with his results so much as to transfer him. They decided to call it a day, and Sousuke insisted to drive him to his hotel.

As Sousuke parked his car and turned off the engine, Makoto suddenly remembered something he was meant to ask before.

‘So, you never answered- why didn’t you try to renew contact with Rin?’

Sousuke didn’t look at him, just kept staring out of the window for a minute.

‘Who said I didn’t?’ he peeked at Makoto and Makoto noted how handsome his features looked in this light with deep shadows sculpting his face. ‘We are going out for drinks soon. Probably with Haruka as well. If you are moving in here, they will probably invite you, if you’d like to come.’

‘Oh, thats good!’ Makoto felt relieved, and he smiled, happy that his friends came around after all. ‘But, why did you wait for so long?’

Sousuke regarded him for a longer minute, before he looked out of the window again and leaned on it a bit, his hand shielding his mouth.

‘I realised really late how shit my behaviour was- you know, I never… needed too many people around me, but driving away at the same time two people who meant most to me..’ Sousuke shifted uncomfortably. ‘I buried myself in work and just- pitied myself for a very long time, and after getting some perspective I think I finally understood what I had been doing wrong the whole time.’ he shrugged, still keeping his gaze away from Makoto’s face. ‘And I already asked Rin to meet some time ago, but I decided not to pick a certain date, just-’ Sousuke finally looked at Makoto, his eyes caught the streetlamp light which made them seem piercing. ‘I told him I won’t meet with him until I apologised to you.’

Makoto frowned, because he didn’t know how to feel about what he just had heard.

‘But it’s not what you think!’ Sousuke leaned closer, moving away from the window, his eyes open in slight horror. ‘It’s not that you are a condition or anything, I just-’ he gulped down, and Makoto felt familiar tingling sensation as he watched Sousuke’s Adam’s apple bob nervously. Sousuke closed his eyes and the last sentence came out more of a choked noise ‘I never stopped needing you, okay.’

 

Makoto didn’t think much just this once, he simply smiled as he leant into Sousuke’s space and grabbed his face for a kiss.

And with each passing minute where he learnt the map of Sousuke’s face anew, and each movement of their jaws, every clash of teeth and bump of their noses; every moment where Sousuke’s hands hungrily reached for his body and his heavy breathing and quiet curses reached his ears;

with each time he huffed out and gasped for air and the way Sousuke’s hand palmed his hardening erection- with all this, Makoto felt something he didn’t even know had been missing found its way again.

And he felt whole, without realising before handedly that he had ever lacked a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> GPOY of Sousuke at the party:https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvFxMxTIUAAprlg.jpg:large & his first reunion with Makoto: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvFxMxTIUAAprlg.jpg:large


End file.
